Safety Lessons On Good touch and bad touch | Child Psychology

In a shocking revelation  (or no more shocking anymore?), a government-commissioned survey had found that more than 53 % of children in India are subjected to sexual abuse. Unfortunately, most don’t report the assaults to anyone, in fact, the reporting is only six percent compared to over 53% of abuse. How can we forget the recent news of  a three-year-old child sexually violated at a private school in East Bangalore?
Children should be taught that their body belongs to them and no one can touch it without their permission. Open and direct communication at an early age about sexuality and “private body parts”, using the correct names for genitals and other parts of the body, will help children understand what is not allowed. Children have the right to refuse a kiss or a touch, even from a person they love. Children should be taught to say “No”, immediately and firmly, to inappropriate physical contact, to get away from unsafe situations and to tell a trusted adult. It is important to stress that they should persist until someone takes the matter seriously.
Children do not always recognise appropriate and inappropriate touching. Tell children it is not okay if someone looks at or touches their private parts or asks them to look at or touch someone else’s private parts.
Secrecy is a main tactic of sexual abusers. That’s why it’s important to teach the difference between good and bad secrets and to create a climate of confidence. Every secret that makes them anxious, uncomfortable, fearful or sad is not good and should not be kept; it should be told to a trustworthy adult (parent, teacher, police officer, doctor).
When children are abused they feel shame, guilt and fear. Adults should avoid creating taboos around sexuality, and make sure children know whom to turn to if they are worried, anxious or sad. Children may feel that something is wrong. Adults should be attentive and receptive to their feelings and behaviour. There may be many reasons why a child refuses contact with another adult or with another child. This should be respected. Children should always feel that they can talk to their parents about this issue.
Children need to be instructed about adults who can be part of their safety network. They should be encouraged to select adults whom they can trust, are available and ready to listen and help. Only one member of the safety network should live with the child; the other should live outside the immediate family circle. Children should know how to seek help from such a trust network.
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